In the immediate postpartum period, birth control is easy. Almost too easy. I’ve discovered the perfect method: simple, cheap, and 100% effective. It’s called abstinence.
Because no woman wants to have sex immediately after giving birth. And usually not for some time after.
But at some point, trying to continue this method can become extremely expensive, because it will cost your happiness and possibly your marriage. So you have to switch to something else. If you’re like me and your babies will never under any circumstances take a bottle or a pacifier, then it’s easy to switch to lactational amenorrhea, which you’re doing anyway. But this method is only reliable when your baby is less than six months old. And even though you know your period (and fertility) is unlikely to return till your baby is closer to 14 months, you don’t want to risk it.
But you’re also not entirely certain that you don’t want any more kids.
So around the time your baby is four months old or so (like Teddy is now), you start thinking what I’m thinking: which type of birth control should you use?
I wish I could convince myself to just go on the mini-pill. I really do. But the idea of polluting our water supply with artificial hormones every time I pee freaks out my inner environmentalist. And the idea of polluting my body with artificial hormones freaks me out even more. My poor body has been through enough. What with pregnancy and childbirth and all. It deserves a break.
So it’s definitely non-hormonal methods for me. My favorite, which goes right along with my organic, natural-living, be-one-with-your-hippie-body mindset, is the Fertility Awareness Method. Which, believe it or not, is actually 98% effective when used perfectly. The trouble, of course, is that there’s a whole lot of room for use error.
However, we’ve used it before successfully (and used it to get pregnant when we wanted to, too). The trouble? It’s impossible to chart when your period hasn’t started yet. And although you can use FAM to watch for signs of returning fertility, it’s easy to miss. Definitely not 98% effective.
So I need a back-up method, at least until I can start charting again.
The copper IUD seems to be the method of choice among my mom friends for non-hormonal birth control. Which sounded great when I first heard about it. Sure, it has to be inserted by a doctor, but that’s okay — I love my doctor. Once it’s done, you don’t have to think about it anymore. And it’s 99% effective.
And then I read the list of common side effects and complications, which includes heavy bleeding, backache, expulsion, perforation of the uterus, and infertility. Seriously? I almost think I’d rather have an accidental pregnancy.
And also? An IUD is a copper and plastic stick that stays in your uterus. Like, forever. Until you have it removed. Why does this completely gross me out? Oh — because it’s gross. And scary and kind of disgusting.
Yeah, accidental pregnancy is looking better all the time.
So that brings me to barrier methods. Male condoms — kind of a pain, and bad for the environment since they’re not reusable. Female condoms — ditto. So I think I’ve narrowed it down to either a diaphragm or a cervical cap. Both of which sound okay. You don’t throw them out, so they don’t create waste; you can get set up in advance, so they don’t interrupt the action (like spontaneity is a priority when you have two young kids, but whatever), and they don’t sound too uncomfortable.
I’ll narrow it down with a talk with my doctor.
In the meantime, all this has brought me to one inevitable conclusion: women get the short end of the stick when it comes to birth control. Somebody should really develop a safe, effective, non-hormonal, reversible birth control method for men. Like yesterday. Actually, if that could be available in the next two months, that would work great for me. Ecological breastfeeding will get me by till then.
I just don’t trust the breastfeeding as birth control for 6 months option. With my last 2 babies, my period returned at 11 weeks and 7 weeks postpartum. I was exclusively nursing at least every 2 hours – even at night. I ended up going on the minipill because I just didn’t want to chance getting pregnant again so soon.
Ha! I’m sorry. 🙂
I feel your pain, Julie. I got my period back after 10 weeks with my 1st, and I was nursing exclusively every 2 hours or so, including at night. Wound up pregnant again when he was only 6 months old. I wonder whether it’s possible to tell in advance whether you’ll be one of the ones who doesn’t get it back until 15 months postpartum, or whether it’ll take 8 weeks.
Eeeek! In the same boat! Wallace looked up that procedure right after Hanu was born – I think he actually is considering the possibility of researching doctors in India! Not ready for another surprise 🙂 Miss you!
I’m just guessing, but I seriously doubt my husband will be first in line for that injection.
Oh, and IUDs freak me out as well, you’re not alone there.
Yeah I can’t trust LAM either because my period returned at 5 months this time. First baby it was 12 months so I’m feeling rather ripped off now!
Ok, now you’re scaring me!
LAM has some rules other than just breastfeeding… like can’t supplement (this includes a pacifier or solid foods) more than 15% of feedings, no day stretches w/o nursing longer than 4 hours or night stretch longer than 6, baby younger than 6 months (which was mentioned), and obviously that your menses haven’t returned. I agree, though, that it is tough to know whether or not you’re really “safe.”
I’m not a fan of IUDs because you can still conceive, but you just take away baby’s place to live by making it “uninhabitable.”
However, there has never been a period in all of history with as many birth control options as we have today… we’re spoiled with them, really…. and it has really transformed social sex practices (“free love” for example). Interesting stuff to think about.
* One more thing to clarify in regards to LAM, it doesn’t say you won’t get your period in that first 6 month period, but just that it is only effective so long as you haven’t gotten it.
Yeah, I was definitely following all those rules when my period returned at 10 weeks. I don’t know if I ovulated before I got my period, but it’s possible! With #2 I didn’t use a paci, laid down with her for a nap most every day for the first 3-4 months, fed her every 60-90 minutes during the day for 3-4 months, and had her in bed with me at night. I still got my period at 5.5 months, and I’m almost positive I ovulated before that, at 5 months (other fertility signs were pretty clear). I was still nursing her every 2-3 hours during the day, on demand at night (3-4 hours typically), and hadn’t started solids or any other supplements. The main thing that changed is I moved her out of my bed. I think it was the long periods of sleep-nursing that held it off. Honestly I don’t really think it was worth it considering how much sleep I lost out on with that arrangement. It must be nice for those who can sleep with their baby latched on! Is there some trick that I just never figured out?
On the other hand, I know one mom whose baby never slept with her, was sleeping through the night (11-12 hours) at 6-7 months, mom restricted feedings to every 3-4 hours by that age, started spoon-feeding purees at 6 months, and began to wean by dropping feedings at 11 months. She still didn’t get hers until she was down to two feedings a day. So there you go. It seems like there’s just so much individual variation that you can’t necessarily rely on a set of rules like that. I know they work for a lot of people, but if it’s your first baby or your first time breastfeeding, how do you know whether you’ll be one of them, or one of the early birds?
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